This week felt like it would never end or get better. Each day I woke up exhausted and unmotivated and today was just the icing on the cake. I was almost late to class, forgot close-toed shoes for lab, and forgot to eat breakfast and lunch. I felt like a complete mess, but I prevailed. I got up, I showed up, and I survived. And despite the terrible start to my day I decided to make the most of what was left. I went thrifting, ate dinner with friends, and cuddled a pupper. And thanks to those simple little actions I ended a rough week on a happy note.
Dealing with mental health problems isn’t easy, I would know. I’ve been dealing with them my whole life and many of the years I kept silent about it all. Sometimes people over look the fact that somedays people with anxiety and/or depression struggle to get out of bed. And no, they can’t just will themselves to do things. I wish it worked that way. So today, a gentle reminder that it is perfectly okay if all you did today was breathe.
Gurl, you are already fabulous just the way you are. Don’t listen to the media! Say no to all their silly little products because you are perfect already without them. Not only will it be better for you, but it will also be better for the environment.
So I’ve been a little absent lately, but nevertheless I have been busy. Since I’ve last posted, I have finished my last quarter at Walla Walla University and have transferred to my new university. (And done a whole of other things in between…) That whole process involved moving from Walla Walla to home to Bellingham. It has been a stressful couple of weeks, but ultimately I know that I am doing the right thing. Transferring to Western is one of the best choices that I have made for myself in awhile, despite the fact that I am starting over completely.
It is scary to go where not many people go. I came from a conservative private school and not many people attended public universities. I am one of the very few from my class that branched out and even so, it took me two quarters at the wrong university to figure out that I wanted something different. I’ve not even been here a week and I am already loving it. It is scary as hell, I know like 3 people and they are all upperclassmen. Then there is me… a lowly freshman who tends to get lost every 3 seconds. But despite being friendless, lost, and very confused, I know that this is the right place for me.
I am slowly transitioning (…or maybe not so slowly) into the person I’ve always wanted to be, but never felt that I could be.
At my previous university I was required to have a mentor who was overly religious and quite judgmental of my choices. Our last meeting ended in an explosion of her passive aggressively disproving of my life and not understanding my choice. Fast forward to my first day here and I was getting my ears pierced and my brother and I came up with a great idea of writing a blog called A Letter to My Mentor. And although I won’t make a whole new blog, I am thinking of posting about my life here in bellingham in a series called A Letter to My Mentor. And if I keep it up, it will be a really nice way to look back on this big, exciting, and important part of my life.
So right now that is me. I can’t promise consistent posts, as I am still getting settled, but I hope that soon I can get back to regular posts.